All the Things I Wanted To Say
by yourxwonderwallx
Summary: Jude is publicly dumped by Shay when Tommy kisses her he takes it back. One day when she is walking home, a man appears and Jude is given the chance to change the past. What does she do? Does it go the way she wanted? Is it anything that she expected? R


**Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star. I do own some of the poetry and the songs used.**

Have you ever felt time stand still, and feel like you're dreams are reality? Have you ever wondered why fate always makes you stumble? Well, let me give you a piece of advice, things always happen for a reason.

It was this ordinary day when I decided that I was walking home from school when I got this feeling that someone was following me. I just figured that it was the press trying to find some story on me, and probably one that wasn't even true. When I turned around to face my curiosity, this man was standing in front of my face, and he was holding out this bag. The he spoke.

"In this bag are many treasures and many disappointments. The choice is yours to take." He said. He opened the bag and I said what the hell, I mean I had nothing else to lose. I stuck my hand in the bag and I didn't feel anything except for being dizzy and winding up at a place that I never expected.

When I woke up, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. I was in Tommy's bed, with his arm completely wrapped around me. I saw my silky green dress lying on the floor, and I looked over my shoulder, and Tommy was sound asleep. He was shirtless, and that made the memory of how I got here rush back to my head.

Flashback

I was standing in the rain, after Shay publicly duped me, inside was the last place I wanted to be. My hair and my green dress was soaked. I didn't want to be around people right now, especially Tommy. But, I guess you really never get what you want.

"Go ahead; tell me I told you so." I spat at him.

He walked by my side, and he took of his jacket and put it around my shoulders.

"For what it's worth, Shay's a kid."

I had had enough. "I'm sick of this, I'm sick of guys that don't fall back. Just tell me why Tommy, tell me why I'm so easy to give up? Just tell me what I do wrong and maybe, maybe I can fix it." I said.

"Jude-" he paused for a minute. "You're asking the wrong guy." He said before his lips crashed onto mine. The kiss we shared was full of built up passion between the two of us, and I knew better. I knew that it wouldn't last. When we pulled apart, I looked into his eyes.

"Tommy don't-" I started to say but, he walked back inside. I just stood there with his jacket over my shoulders. I wanted to cry again but, I couldn't do it.

I was sitting inside a few hours later, and I was hiding. I know I'm pathetic, hiding at my own sweet sixteen but, I just didn't want to see the media, or people asking me questions. But, I couldn't stop myself, I let the tears fall. I can't believe that he did that. He knows that I have feelings for him, and he still walked away.

"Jude," He said to me. I looked up at him. I had tearstains on my cheeks form crying too much.

"Tommy-" I started to say before he cut me off.

"Jude, look we can keep working together but, we have to agree that the kiss never happened." He said as he tried to wipe the tears off my face.

"Tommy no, this isn't happening. I have had enough of it. I have had feelings for you since day one, since I first saw you. Do you hear me, day one? I am tired of playing cat and mouse games with you. I know you care, and I know that I'm sixteen and you're twenty-two but, I'm done. I can't deny how I feel for you anymore." I said to him. Tears were falling uncontrollably now and they weren't going to stop.

"Jude, I have feelings for you too and tonight I let them show. I was inappropriate with you, and I let them out tonight and I shouldn't have. Jude if we were a _'we'_ I could loose my job." He said.

"Tommy, I know that. But, if you do this and you take the kiss back then we are finished. We are done, I don't want you anywhere near me, my music, my album or my life." I hissed. I got up and he was standing directly in front of me.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?" He yelled.

"I WANT YOU TOBE HONEST ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL!" I yelled back at him.

"Jude-" He stared to say but I stopped him. I slammed my lips onto his and he didn't hesitate at all. I was curious to see if he would pull away from me but, he didn't.

End Flashback

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt Tommy move. I felt him kiss my forehead, and my cheek. I remembered what happened, I remembered everything. I smiled and I looked into his eyes. I was happy for once in my life, or since I actually found someone who loved me.

When the man surprised me on the street, he was there because I had a choice to make. He let me go back and change the past, and make a new future, one that should have happened if I had the courage before to say the things that I wanted to say at the party. I guess when you want something, and you're given the chance to go back and change it, you don't hesitate. You go for it and you hope that you change what you wanted to change.


End file.
